November 24, 2012 by AJ Briones
It has been a while since I have written something. I am a self-proclaimed and publicly known writer but faced under heavy pressure of work schedule, work demands and personal boundaries colliding on one another, I am having a very difficult time to sit down like what I am doing at this very time to write something for my readers to consume and meditate on.
Pressures, challenges or tensions if we may call them that way are natural. Well, that’s what a majority believes. I could remember one amazing experienced teacher at a well-known Christian Chinese school here in the Philippines illustrating about how to work with tension using a ring elastic band (sorry, for those who don’t known what I mean. I really don’t have much leeway to explain it here. Maybe I can do it on another blog). As for me, tension is not just an experience but a daily thing; something that happens every minute, every hour, and every single moment of breath I make. Tension has become a part of who I am. That may be the reason that some view me pessimistic or quite disturbed. I don’t take tension lightly. I’m the kind of guy who hears all the time from others the statement, “lighten up;” Something so unusual for a person like me, since I am a follower of Christ.
Tension and stress does get an upper hand on me a lot of times. Yes, it is not so remote from my consciousness that a number looks up to me as an example I cannot simply step up as be strong as what people expect of me. Philippians 4:13 may be a verse that declares that I can do all things through Christ but my humanity tears through me and exposes the weakness of my flesh. The human tolerance can only go a distance. I have to admit that a number of my life’s decisions were affected by the tensions I have encountered. When will the cycle of the infinite loop be cut into an ending?
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. That was a passage from the Bible that our Guidance Counselor from my secondary schooling used to say. I can’t help it but to think about it so deeply now that I contemplate. When will I experience it? I know that faith is being sure of what we hope for but how will I be sure when my eyes have been clouded by my present? When I wave my hand in front of my eyes to clear my sight from the smokescreen, I still see the same dark color. What will I do?
Saul in the Bible was made aware of his blindness by God but made into anew as the image of what are like scales fell from his eyes. Every clouded, misdirected, and blocked mindset he had was stripped away as the scales from his eyes that clouded his vision. The vision of the sense of truth was placed in his heart. In the face of tension and stress, I want that. I want the things blocking my vision of the truth to be stripped out. As Saul who became Pau did wonders when after the scales fell, I’d like such a life-change to envelope my very being. I don’t want tension to overpower me any further. I do not want to be like a blocked vain and cause myself to have a spiritual stroke. I want a genuine outbreak of peace and freedom from the grip of the tension I face. Again, tension is normal and I can never escape it but I do not want myself to be held back by it any longer. I want to keep on moving forward and having a smile on my face (something unusual from me). I want the clouds filtered out of my vision.